Do you want to know how to reduce stress, handle big emotions better and lead a more fulfilling life? These eight steps are a good place to start to enhance your emotional intelligence
We often think of intelligence in terms of IQ, but what about EQ? Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, is all about understanding, using and managing our emotions in positive ways. It’s like having a superpower that helps us to reduce stress, communicate effectively, empathise well with others and conquer daily challenges with ease.
But EQ isn’t just about managing our own feelings – it’s a crucial skillset that influences every relationship in our lives. In fact, as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to believe that mastering emotional intelligence could be the key to living a more beautiful and fulfilling life. By learning to connect with our emotions, we set ourselves on a path toward greater success in our careers, relationships and continual personal growth.
Continue reading to better understand the art of building emotional intelligence, including simple steps you can take towards becoming a more discerning and emotionally resilient human being.
1. Document your emotions
Keep a diary. At the end of each day, jot down what happened, how it made you feel and how you handled it. Embrace all emotions, even those that cause discomfort with a sense of curiosity rather than judgement. Be gentle but honest with yourself, then periodically revisit your entries to identify trends and gain a new perspective on how you can better handle situations going forward.
2. Practise pausing before reacting
When faced with strong emotions, take a moment to pause before reacting (this is a practice I find especially challenging). What helps me is to change my physical state – deep breathing, yoga, an ocean swim or a brisk walk, these are all things that help me to gain clarity and manage my response effectively. I usually feel quite differently once I’ve taken a moment to slow down and process how I feel.
3. Become an excellent listener
Empathy starts with listening. No matter how hard it feels, put your own thoughts aside, and fully absorb what others are saying without any interruptions or also any preconceptions. Cultivate curiosity by stepping into someone else’s shoes and appreciating their outlook. This shift in perspective fosters understanding and often leads to better resolutions for everyone involved.
4. Be prepared to leave your comfort zone
Growing your emotional intelligence will undoubtedly put you out of your comfort zone, but remember this is a good thing. In life, the biggest barrier to achieving your full potential is not challenging yourself frequently enough.
5. Embrace vulnerability
Voicing and sharing your emotions with others can help you to tune into what you’re feeling, and lift any shame or self-judgement you might be feeling. Asking for help, as well as helping others can also be an excellent way to build your own sense of authenticity and connection.
6. Take responsibility for your own feelings
Acknowledge that your emotions and reactions are entirely your own. Yes, life presents challenges that are hard to overcome and people can be hurtful, but it’s how you choose to respond that ultimately shapes your growth and resilience going forward. In my own personal experience, taking full responsibility for myself and my emotions has also felt incredibly liberating, particularly when I’ve felt as though I’m the victim of a circumstance.
7. Become excellent at taking action
In order to truly master improving your EQ you need to get out there and practise. Set goals and track your progress – this is where journalling and getting out of your comfort zone comes into play. Remember that emotional intelligence is learned and it requires continual daily improvement; it’s very much a lifetime practice – and that’s something to get excited about.
8. Don’t forget to stop and celebrate
When milestones are met (no matter how big or small) don’t forget to celebrate your successes and also reflect on how fantastic it is that you were the one who propelled yourself towards this moment. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how proud you are. Share your success with your loved ones. Celebrate by doing something fun for yourself. In essence, mastering emotional intelligence is a journey of self-discovery and becoming the person you were put on this earth to be. By honing these skills, you not only enhance your own life but also positively impact those around you. So go on, start today. Empower yourself to live a more fulfilling, emotionally intelligent life.
Words Eleanor Cripps
Read this next: Eleanor Cripps’ guide to a gorgeous smelling home
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